Not sure if I'm allowed to celebrate today yet, but for the sake of it, I'm going to. Today is Father's Day and this would be my very first time celebrating it for myself, rather than just my dad, or your grandpa.
I'll be honest with you, your grandpa and I aren't exactly on the best terms. We talk now and then, but your daddy has kind of a lot of resentment against him for what he did to me as well as your aunt and uncles. He's a bit what you would call selfish. He's always been that way and I didn't realize it until I was older.
He put us through a lot of unnecessary pain, and I'll be honest again, sometimes that pain just doesn't go away, no matter how much you want it to. Besides my own personal reasons, I'd really like to hope that your grandpa would like to be part of your life at least. In the future if you happen to find out he doesn't, I don't want you to take it personally. Your grandmother will love you just as much and a person like him isn't always good to have your in life anyways. However, I really pray that wouldn't be the case, and maybe just maybe, he'll come around for you.
That's why this special is a bit bittersweet. On one hand I don't celebrate today with my own dad, but on the other, I celebrate today because I'm your dad. And I have to say that that really makes up for things. Only because I know in my heart I'm going to really try and not repeat what my dad did. I'm going to do things differently with you, so when you're older you hopefully won't be writing this same letter to your kids. Ehh wait, I don't want discuss that yet...you having your own kids...that'll come later. MUCH later understand? Just kidding, but seriously, I have yet to figure out what age you can date. Always remember that your education comes first little lady.
Underneath it all, I'm happy to be able to be part of this day. It's like a reminder I guess that I have a new job to learn, except there's no supervisor here to help me. I got to stick this one out with your mom as we hopefully achieve our goals together, the most important one which is just to give you a good life. A life without resentment or fighting like the one I had to endure. It might be hard, but if there's anything important I learned from my father, it's always to be a fighter.
It might be a bit soon, but I really do love you already. When I talk to your mom about you, or even when I see your little feet pop out, it brings a smile to my face. I just want you to be happy as cliche as that might sound. But you don't understand how much that makes sense until you're in my shoes.
I can't wait to sit back and watch you grow up, but hopefully not too fast. I can't guarantee a lot of things, but I can guarantee that I'll protect you from any danger in this weird world. I admit even now, the thought of something hurting you makes me sad, I can just imagine when you're older.
Today was really good for once and I just look forward to spending many more Father's Days with you.
Until next time,