It's mommy again, if you couldn't already tell. Today got me thinking about somethings, and I thought it was important you heard them. Today I made another promise to you. After certain events involving your grandma, I made an oath that what she put me through, I'll never put you through.
I promise to make sure that no one will ever become before you. I promise to not bring anyone into your life that may cause you harm in anyway. Aside from your dad, I just want to make sure you never feel pushed to the side, or unimportant. I won't ignore your opinions or thoughts, I won't walk away when you're trying to tell me something.
I've been through a lot when I was your age. Something I'll make sure that it never ever happens to you. Because no child deserves what I went through, they deserve much more. I didn't have a happy family like most children did, but I'm going to try hardest to make sure you do.
Never will I lay a hand on you unless it's hold you. Raise my voice unless I'm scaring monsters out of your room. Make you cry unless it's from laughing too much. I may have been forced to live in a weird cycle of drama, but I have the chance to break the cycle, and I promise to.
There's so many things I want to do with you that I didn't get to when I was younger. You're not here yet, but I'm already picturing you in some kind of sport. Just the little things I was never able to do when I was younger.
Because honestly honey, I was forced to grow up much faster than I should have. I didn't enjoy my childhood as much as I should have gotten to. When you're my age you'll see that you do end up missing those kind of things. But hopefully you don't, hopefully you look back on it and is satisfied on how things turned out.
So many thoughts rush my through my head each day as I get closer to meeting you and holding you. I'm a bit nervous to be honest, but I know you're well worth the wait. I just want more than anything to be the mom I know you need and deserve. And I'm really grateful that you chose me to be your parent. In a way I'm glad certain things like this happen to me so I know in the future not to repeat that mistake.
I'm pretty happy about you reading these someday. I know it may not seem like much, but words are lot more powerful than you know. Remember when all else fails, turn to words. They're always there to comfort you when you need it.